Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Hot Now

Today must be confession Wednesday, cause I am full of them.  I also have a HOT NOW compulsion.  Some of you who either live elsewhere than the south or in a hole may not know what that is.  Hot Now is the sign that flashes on the front of Krispy Kreme Doughnuts when they are just out of the cooker.  It is actually more like a homing beacon.  If I pass and the light is flashing it takes everything I have to keep the car on my intended path.  In fact I have even pulled into Wal-mart and parked, seen the beacon, pulled out and went to get some donuts.  It is one of me and my husband's favorite treats.  So much so we have had them for dinner.  I have decided that the door of the Krispy Kreme store is a magical portal that transports you to a little slice of heaven.  I have stood for what seems like hours in front of the donut machine watching the donuts fall from the press to the oil to running through the glaze of awesomeness to being picked up by the little stick o' glory.  It is a mesmerizing process.  One of my favorite memories is a rainy night when my husband and myself were drawn by the light into the warmth of the The Kreme.  We pulled into the parking lot, jumped out, ran through the puddle laden maze to the door.  We entered wet, laughing, and full of anticipation of our sugary feast.  I ordered coffee and he chocolate milk and we sat and ate and talked for quite some time.  It was a simple time, and impromptu, but it was one of my favorite dates ever.

Phone Compulsion

I have recently discovered that I have a compulsion for answering the phone.  When I am at the office and the phone rings I always have the feeling that I have to grab it on the first ring.  It drives me to distraction when it rings consecutively.  This normally wouldn't be a problem, but there is a lady there who answers the phone.  I have tried answering it, but she gets antsy when I do...unless I tell her I am going to.  And so instead of getting into an answering war, I just leave it alone.  So I was sitting at my desk yesterday and the phone keeps ringing and she keeps answering and I am having to literally sit on my hands.  I began to wonder why I have this reaction...I don't get like this when I am at someone else's house, so why am I like this here.  Then it hit me...indoctrination.  Several years ago I worked at Pizza Hut, and during that time is when I formed the compulsion.  See, if we didn't answer the phone on the first ring, we were in some mighty big fact there was so much pressure for prompt answering that they had employees diving for phones.  It was so bad that too this day if I am feeling hectic and rushed and I answer the phone I will still say, "thank you for calling the McMinnville Pizza Hut.  This is Anne, how may I help you?"  Crazy I know, but I have done it everywhere I have worked...Applebee's, lifeway, the church, even my own cell phone.  I never knew the full effect that place had on me...I hope one day to recover.

Being the pack leader

So for those of you who don't know, not that there is anyone who reads this that doesn't, I have three rather large dogs.  So being the pack leader is easier said than done.  But I try.  So yesterday, seeing as how I was having such a great day, I took them for a walk.  All of them, at the same time, by myself.  BIG adventure.  I have done this before and it usually ends up with me yelling and in a foul mood.  Not to mention the time in Birmingham when I was literally drug across the ground at 20 miles per hour.  But, I have found a way to stop this from happening.  You see, I used to walk with them all out in front of me, with them pulling my arm out of socket.  But now I walk holding them all behind me.  This takes some talent to keep them from stepping on the backs of my feet and in line.  But anyway, the real story is the game we play with all the animals in the neighborhood.  The game is, who can make my dogs the craziest.  Most days there is the same assortment of dogs and cats that are always around...but seems the hounds of hell were on the loose.  There were stray dogs taunting us, every dog in every yard rushed their fence and screamed profanities in our direction, and the cats, well, they took their lives in their hands.  Whats amazing to me about all this, besides the fact that my dogs did fairly well (they got a little excited over the stupid cat that walked right up to us), was the people I encountered on the walk.  There are those who look at me and think I am crazy...there are those who think I am irresponsible for having such large and so many dogs (all though I don't see them out walking their pets EVER)...and there are those that no matter what I am doing at the moment they want to stop and talk.  I can deal with the judgement, I can deal with the looks, but when I am in the middle of getting under control over 300 lbs of dog DONT stop and try to have a conversation.  I WILL IGNORE YOU.  I am not being rude but that amount of dog-power takes all my focus and concentration.  I have no time to tell you how old they are, how much they eat, if I have a big yard, and no I have never put a saddle on them and will not ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I just don't think that people realize that training dogs is a constant thing...I am always working with can't just live with a dog and not be training it for something...just like children, they are a work in progress.  

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Note to self

Note to self:  Never ask a certain sister to pray for something unless you really mean it.  Here's the story...Yesterday I got on this kick that I wanted to start waking up early (what was I thinking???)  So I called my sister who has 5 kids to ask if she would give me a little ring when they all started moving.  Her answer was "of course" followed by "you should pray and ask God to send you a wake up call."  Kiss of death.  Those words are stronger than you would think.  So I know, I just know my sister prayed that God would send me a wake up call.  How do I know this you ask?  Because He did.  4:45 am on the DOT Titus erupts with another bout of diarrhea rockets and I am out of the bed like a 4th of july firecraker on steroids.  Yes, there I was, AGAIN, on my hands and knees scrubbing CRAP off the carpet...only with carpet its more like you are just rubbing it in.  But here's the really weird part of it all.  I was in a great mood about it.  I thought to myself, "hey, its 4:45...I might as well just stay up and start the I grabbed my computer and headed downstairs to do a little reading in John and pray for a bit.  So, God in His goodness and mercy, got me awake with the method that does the trick every time and also gave me the strength to endure it and redeem the situation.  Can't wait to see what my sister prays for today...

Monday, January 28, 2008

a few minutes to go

I have a few minutes before I have to leave for a pampered chef partay, so I thought, what the heck.  The the coolest thing has been happening the last few days.  A few days ago, one of my nephews began sending me "presents."  Let me back up...Back in Dec of 2001 I moved to McSomewhere, Tn.  At that time my sister had just had her 2nd child, His birthday being dec 15th.  I was at her house one day (This was before I moved from my mom's house into their guest bedroom for 4 years...big thanks) and for some reason I wanted to hold the baby (very rare occasion for me).  We, the baby and myself, ended up on the couch napping.  From that moment on a bond was formed.  We have always been close, I don't know, we just "get" each other.  He is very artistic, silly, a great dancer (you can literally see the beat get inside of his body), and generous.  So to move along, the present giving started a long time ago when he started putting toys in my room for me to keep for ever, and not just any toys, they were mostly his prized possessions.  I had so many that I placed a box in my room so that none of them would get lost.  When I went away to college I left the box in my room, thinking I don't want to take the kids favorite toys he may want to play with them, but all of the sudden he came out to the car box in hand informing me that I had forgotten something.  (Pause: wiping tear) So a few days ago I opened the mail to find a letter from him.  In it was enclosed a picture that he had drawn with an inscription stating "I hope you like your present" in his own 6 year old hand writing.  As he is growing up and moving away from toys and finding more joy in his art, he is still giving me his most prized possessions.  And these are the best presents I could ever ask for.  For a child who has nothing the world would consider valuable to give me what he prizes most really touches my heart.  And for him to continue to do so as he grows up in an ever changing society is a jewel that I will treasure always.

The naming of blogs is a practical matter

Ok, so this whole naming of my blog was a rather interesting say the least.  You see, I am the youngest child of four girls and when I say youngest I mean by ten really I have more or less 5 moms...(you maybe wondering where I get the number five since 3 plus 1 equals 4.  I have a step mother as well and if I leave anyone out someone will get upset, so I have to mention them all.  I am such a good person.)  So saying, I have a hard time making decisions since I have been told what to do by so many people since before I can remember.  So, I had this name all picked out and set up ready to wasn't the greatest, I'll admit but it was working.  Well, I was all excited and proud of myself for actually being able to blog again that I had to call my sister, some call it a compulsion...others co-dependant, and tell her and get her input.  And of course she didn't like the name.  We stayed on the phone for 45 minutes discussing the name of my blog.  Not a whole lot else going on in my world...or I just like to procratinate.  The reason that the conversation went on for so long was because my sister could not understand what I was trying to communicate...she couldn't process how to write down my original name...I think she got something like this yeah, that would be confusing, if it was right. are the names we went through...


you may wonder why one of those is not like the other...well, that was the very very first one...I know I know...cheesey christiany crap...i'm over it

Next on My crisis of self over same sister not liking the picture on my blog...

Sunday, January 27, 2008

twice in one day!!

I am at home now, for a precious few moments before I have to head back to the church, so I thought I would sit down and get to know my way around a little better here on my new blog.  I think this is my favorite part of the whole thing...its like moving into a new house, only without all the aches and pains and if you had a lot of money to make it just the way you wanted it.  Anyway...I digress.  So let me explain why I had a sudden change of heart about this whole blog thing.  I used to blog, and quite frequently, but then I more or less fell away after I got married and moved off and started working at the church I am now.  I began to come under some heavily clouded there was this anti-anne barrier blocking my phone line to God.  So time went by and here we are two years later.  Well, like I said earlier I just returned home from a two week stint in the desert.  I was in AZ helping to lead an internship for high school students who were learning about the whole mission trip thing.  I had a great time, met some really great teenagers, spent time with someone who I consider a spiritual mentor, and got to experience things that I never have in my years of going on mission to the Tohono O'odham Reservation.  So I come home after a great time of learning and teaching and serving, and I am tired and dehydrated, and frustrated because my dogs are sick.  The week that followed my return home I fell into some what of a depression.  Coming home to problems when your husband is in Iraq is not a funny place to find yourself in.  So I sat on the couch and watched TV for most of the week.  Not to mention that I have not been sleeping well...maybe it correlates with all my sofa surfing...anyway.  All of a sudden it was saturday night and I knew that I had to get up early to get ready for church so I drew myself a bath in hopes that it would help me sleep...and it did, I was able to drift off to sleep at around midnight...praise the Lord!!  Or so I thought.  i woke up at 3:30 am to what sounded like someone pressure washing my carpet.  I instantly knew I had a large problem on my hands...a Great Dane with explosive diarrhea.  Not fun...let me tell you.  Needless to say it was a rough couple ouf hours.  I finally got back in bed and tried to wrestle the last bit of sleep I could out of the night before I absolutely had to get up.  Satan even had me debating on skipping church or not.  Well, my spirit won out and I made it by 9:30.  I got into my office and sat down and read my sister's blogs and got frustrated.  Why couldn't I blog?  Why was I depressed?  Why wasn't God getting me out of this situation??  God where are you?????  And then I went out of my office and people that were at the church started telling me how much they had missed me and they were so glad I was back, etc.  I began to feel loved by the people here for the first time in awhile...not because they don't love me, but I was finally in a place where I COULD feel it.  Anyway, God began to reveal to me His presence and how much HE loves me through His people.  Despite how tired I am and the poop and all the other mess.  He is my Father and He LOVES me.  All of this to say that in order to get me out of my spiritual desert, God took me into the physical desert to refresh my spirit and let me drink of His presence.  I am so thankful for my church family and my co-workers.  I was astonished to find myself full of joy when I could be anything but.  


After much coercion, here I am.  On Blogspot.  As of the past year or two I have had a strong aversion to blogging.  I used to enjoy it, but I think that I have stopped wanting to process my life...the thought process that precedes that statement is- if I don't blog I don't process, if I don't process I don't have to deal with things.  You see, I am a very extroverted introvert.  Ha ha.  Oxymoron, I know...but thats me.  I don't like to share what I am dealing with at the time, I like to go over and over it in my head, creating mass anxiety and depression and when I get over it, then I like to tell the world of the conclusion that I have come to.  So thats where I am.  What sparked this??  Well, after two weeks in the desert I have come home dehydrated and exhausted...I haven't slept well since being home (falling asleep at 4 to get up at 7) and last night was the last straw, I fell asleep at a reasonable hour (12:00) only to be woken by one of my dogs butt exploding onto the floor in my bedroom and seeing how he weighs 140 lbs, that was a BIG problem.  So here I sit, tired, frustrated, so glad to be back with my own church family, and blogging.